Man-Dolphin Detente

Prognostication Department
Jonah Goldberg of the National Review doesn't limit his election predictions to the election results. After a rundown of the races, he adds:
Also, I predict that super-intelligent apes will never run the planet but we might discover that dolphins are incredibly intelligent, but despite those laughing sounds they make actually have no sense of humor whatsoever and are actually shockingly bigoted against their fellow mamillian sea creatures ("Orca scum" and such). We will also conclude that we must pay them for the crimes we committed against them when we were ignorant of their sentience, but fortunately they'll accept herring as currency. The term vegetarianism will disappear from common usage as biotechnology makes it possible to grow super tastey and healthy meat in huge industrial vats without ever harming animals. This will cause a massive slaughter of cows who cannot live on their own without human aid. The dolphins will encourage us to push the cows into the sea.

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