Gojomo

2002-11-05
Man-Dolphin Detente

Prognostication Department
Jonah Goldberg of the National Review doesn't limit his election predictions to the election results. After a rundown of the races, he adds:
Also, I predict that super-intelligent apes will never run the planet but we might discover that dolphins are incredibly intelligent, but despite those laughing sounds they make actually have no sense of humor whatsoever and are actually shockingly bigoted against their fellow mamillian sea creatures ("Orca scum" and such). We will also conclude that we must pay them for the crimes we committed against them when we were ignorant of their sentience, but fortunately they'll accept herring as currency. The term vegetarianism will disappear from common usage as biotechnology makes it possible to grow super tastey and healthy meat in huge industrial vats without ever harming animals. This will cause a massive slaughter of cows who cannot live on their own without human aid. The dolphins will encourage us to push the cows into the sea.

Vote (or not)

Civics Department
It's election day in the United States. If you understand and care about the issues and candidates on your local ballot, remember to vote. If, on the other hand, you don't particularly understand or care about matters being polled, then please don't vote! Your vote is important, but not so important that it must be cast, even randomly/arbitrarily/superficially, if your actual interests lie elsewhere. Choosing not to vote on particular questions, or not to vote at all, is a perfectly legitimate decision, and don't let any "more civic than thou" ninnies tell you otherwise.


2002-11-04
Kissing Basic Freedoms Goodbye, in Iran and Georgia (US)

Ministry of Morals
What do Iran and a Georgia High School have in common? They both impose harsh penalties for inappropriate forehead kisses. Compare and contrast:

Reuters: Kiss lands Iranian actress and director in court

Atlanta Journal-Constitution: Football player suspended for kissing girl on forehead


2002-11-03
Earth Shaking Things Up

Tectonic Plate Administration
Earthquakes in Italy, Alaska, Southern Japan, Northern Japan, Pakistan, and Indonesia. New volcanic activity in Italy, Hawaii, Ecuador, and Pakistan -- and threatening in the Phillipines.

A pattern?

Let's hope no supervolcanoes are on the way!